he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
