Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This house was built for laser tag.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
