I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
