Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize