I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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