i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You have to summon your inner elephant
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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