My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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