It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
