dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
NoShamevember. You game?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.