If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
