Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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