Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
