it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
