These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
