belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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