I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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