I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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