also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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