You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
