Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow