that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.