Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low