Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
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His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
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We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave