apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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