why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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