wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes