I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the barista slut.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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