you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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