he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize