dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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