break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
