Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
