some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Randomize
