doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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