Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize