Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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