i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize