google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
