yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
