I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
