i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
