You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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