i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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