Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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