So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
