Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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