listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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