I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
