If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize