He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
