I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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