Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
