UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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