OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
