dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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