to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
