He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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