Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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