why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sobbing to NWA