Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.