he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.