Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me??? http://tfl.nu/mbxc
  Replies (126) Good night (535) Bad night (10216) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon http://tfl.nu/mdvf
  Replies (16) Good night (834) Bad night (4634) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my vagina's been through so much this weekend

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): my vagina's been through so much this weekend (1-860): you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend? http://tfl.nu/jr6r
  Replies (35) Good night (7519) Bad night (899) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): My own mom unfriended me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/a468
  Replies (68) Good night (3745) Bad night (11309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  ..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): ..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop http://tfl.nu/2wez
  Replies (21) Good night (6344) Bad night (942) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand (1-856): We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh? http://tfl.nu/4r62
  Replies (10) Good night (820) Bad night (5123)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight http://tfl.nu/k1ij
  Replies (7) Good night (3593) Bad night (1176) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel. http://tfl.nu/63se
  Replies (4) Good night (1799) Bad night (646) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning. http://tfl.nu/tu4n
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (1362) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (786): you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat. http://tfl.nu/8z2x
  Replies (14) Good night (1068) Bad night (2030) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified. http://tfl.nu/iywq
  Replies (12) Good night (948) Bad night (1877) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background. http://tfl.nu/q3vc
  Replies (6) Good night (1492) Bad night (538) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge http://tfl.nu/5u98
  Replies (6) Good night (1042) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up. http://tfl.nu/jlt9
  Replies (0) Good night (676) Bad night (344) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.

  (512): View more from Texas

  Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night. (512): Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there. http://tfl.nu/r01e
  Replies (4) Good night (1828) Bad night (272)

Randomize