You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
