Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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