i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
