your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
