and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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