Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize