toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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