halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I would fuck him just for his dog
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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