Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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