i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
