I got chris browned last night
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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