Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
